Shortly after Uncle Jim's death in 2004, Jim gave me permission to share his moving eulogy of his dad. I just came across it, and I loved reading it again. I am sure you will to.
James A. Nolan, III
Dad's life spanned nearly the entire twentieth century. He was born during the "Great War", he served in World War II. He grew up amidst the economic strains of the Great Depression, he participated in the expansive growth of our country in the second half of this century. Born a decade after the first flight, he watched the astronauts go to the moon. With his death, for me, the twentieth century can finally come to a close.
It would be an exaggeration to say that Dad left his mark on his century. Historians will never consider him a great or influential man. And Dad did not seek to be a great man. He was very content with what he had: a very supportive wife, a family of brothers and sisters, children and grandchildren of whom he was very proud, a series of life long friends, many of whom he would recall in his last days, with whom he shared good times and to whom he could always tell a good joke, over and over again. These things he prized.
I cannot communicate with the dead, but I think I know our Dad well enough to tell you some of my father's present thoughts about how lucky he was in life. In the early part of this century, without antibiotics for infection, many young infants were born motherless. They were destined to become orphans or stepchildren of another woman. But for my father, in the first three years, there was a loving woman named Aunt Grace. At three years of age, my father met a new woman, Mary Nolan, who accepted him into her heart as her own child. "James", as she insisted he be called, was always her pride and joy. Mary stood by her son James and her other six children despite the deprivations brought on by the early death of her husband. James and his brothers and sisters were very lucky to have such a woman as a mother.
Coming out of school in the Great Depression, many young men found the doors to opportunity closed. A retired judge, a friend of Dad's father, offered the young "James" a job in the legal department at the East New York Savings Bank. With the exception for his service in the Navy, Dad stayed with that job until his retirement. The job enabled him, through mortgage lending, to participate in the greatest period of growth on Long Island. It brought to Dad many business associates, developers, other bankers, who could appreciate a good joke. It brought many lasting friends, some who are here today.
The greatest gift of life to my father was his acquaintance with another woman, Catherine Connolly Nolan. An attractive and intelligent woman, Catherine, for the most part, put her ambitions to the side in order to fulfill the dreams of her the husband and the children she loved. Catherine could put up with Dad's faults, soothe his ire and steer his, at times, pessimistic thoughts in a positive direction. And Catherine loved doing it! Our Dad suffered immensely from the death of Catherine, depressed and withdrawn for years after her leaving. For a long time, we barely heard him mention her name. This past week, a few days before he died, James told us that he "was going to see his bride".
Finally, Dad was fortunate in his last ten years to have a family and caretakers who loved him. As a physician, I care for many patients who have been abandoned in nursing homes. Despite his illness, Dad remained in his home, at center-stage in the family to the moment of his last breath. Many a billionaire cannot say the same. I know my father is thankful to all of you.
Good luck only comes to the lucky. What was Dad's secret? I would argue that Dad's secret was that he knew how to like people. There may be someone in this world, who has met my father and who does not like him. However, with absolute certainty, I can tell you that there is no one, whom my father has met, in whom my father did not immediately see the good and with whom my father would not immediately share his humor. We Irish are world renowned for holding a grudge. Dad did not hold grudges. The business world can be a cut-throat environment. Dad thought the best way to succeed was to treat everyone else fairly. I would argue that Dad attracted good luck because everyone who came into his presence met a warm smiling face and a friendly voice, which communicated immediately that one was accepted and loved.
I would like to end by re-telling you one of my father's war stories, which exemplifies the good fortune of my father's life. Many of you will remember that my father served during World War II as a young naval officer on the light cruiser Biloxi, which was in Admiral Halsley's fleet and participated in most of the major battles in the Pacific in 1944 and 1945, including the battle of Leyte Gulf in the Phillipines and the assault of Iwo Jima and Okinawa. You may remember that a large portion of the losses of the U.S. naval fleet were due to attacks of Japanese Kamikaze bombers. In fact, more than 4000 sailors died from these attacks during the last six months of the war.
On March 27th, 1945, just about 60 years ago today, the U.S.S. Biloxi was close to the shore of Okinawa, covering the minesweepers, which were preparing for the attack on Okinawa on Easter Sunday, April 1, 1945. The Biloxi was hit squarely in the side, at the water line, by one of these Kamikaze bombers, but the bomb did not explode. Knicknamed "Double Lucky" the Biloxi survived without loss of life.
Now for the rest of the story: A young attorney in Brooklyn was anxious to join the navy, but had one problem. He wore thick glasses because he was farsighted and had astigmatism. An intelligent young man, he learned that it was easy to memorize the eye chart, passed the eye exam and served almost three years as an officer in the Navy without eyeglasses. This young naval officer was assigned to antiaircraft spotting on board the Biloxi. At general quarters, this officer was in charge of the team of 20 mm antiaircraft gunners on one side of the ship. However, on other watches, the junior officers had to assume more responsible positions. In the case of this young officer, his dog watch job was to ride in the crow's nest high above the ship and aim all the five inch guns, the ship's biggest antiaircraft weapon.
Because the Kamikaze attacks off of Okinawa occurred continuously day and night, the Biloxi was not at general quarters when it was hit. This young naval officer was at command of the five inch guns and busily firing upon a Kamikaze which he saw diving upon another ship. The Kamikaze which did strike the Biloxi had been strafed by the machine guns but was not blown out of the sky because the big guns were never aimed at it! When the bomber crashed into the ship, the young naval officer, recently promoted from ensign to lieutenant junior grade, immediately thought it was his fault that the plane had made it through the defenses. The ship would sink and he, if he survived, would be court-martialed for dereliction of duty and cheating on his admission physical exam.
What luck, the bomb penetrated the side of the ship and landed in a room full of potatoes and beans. It did not explode. Some officers and crew won metals for bravery in defusing the bomb. The actions of the young naval officer were never questioned. After completing the assault of Okinawa, the Biloxi went back to San Francisco for repairs. The young naval lieutenant took this opportunity to marry his sweetheart. Some of you attended the wedding. Nine months later, I was born.
Our Catholic faith teaches us that all that happens to us is not due to luck but to Divine Providence. Not a sparrow will fall from the sky without God's attention to it. God is active in history and cares for each of us individually. Well then, God has been very good to Dad in his life. Now God has taken Dad home.
I hope God likes to listen to jokes.
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